A Smaller Target

UCLA WLS Support Group

Weight: 164.6

The last few days have been crazy busy.  I'm still trying to catch up on my blogging, but all is mostly really well.

On Thursday, after having met with Dr. Soo to look at my incision (it's healing nicely thanks) and spending the afternoon with Eloise and my mom at the Grove and Farmer's Market in LA, I went to the support group that Maria Harrison is running at UCLA.  It's meeting on the third Thursday of the month and looks to be something I'm going to try and attend regularly.

I went because she asked a number of us the Saturday before when we had the lunch for Leslie (whose surgery Friday went splendidly by the way -- Yay Leslie!) if we could attend and to please bring our "Before" pictures.  So I was there along with Laurie, Rocke and Lisa.  Most, though not all, of the other people at the meeting were either pre-op or relatively recently post-op.  They seemed, well, a bit angry.  It reminded me of Paul's comment after we attended that first seminar in Pasadena for USC -- that the women seemed to radiate a suspicion that they were, via surgery, being sold yet another bill of goods.

There wasn't a speaker that night.  Or rather there was -- us! 

We showed our pictures and talked about our experiences.  We didn't emphasize the duodenal switch as better than the RNY -- just that it's slightly different.  Instead, the focus was compliance.  Maria, in introducing us, pointed that she's seen patients eat around every surgery there is and re-gain weight. 

When it was my turn I  passed around my photo and talked about how the past two years have gone and how different life is now.  I wanted to give them hope because I remember how hard it is to be pre-op.  But I also wanted to be honest, to tell them that this isn't just the next step after Weight Watchers and Jenny Craig have failed.  Even with the tool of weight loss surgery, the relationship with food has to change.  Plus, there needs to be a life-long commitment to supplementing vitamins and getting blood work done. 

To highlight the need for regular blood work, I told them about Eloise's B-12 scare.  Said this isn't something they would want to be lax about because neglecting aftercare can do us permanent damage.

Anyway, it was great seeing people I knew and meeting a few new ones.  Plus it made me feel good to know that I could help Maria out in some fashion given how much she's done for me over the last two years. 

After the meeting, Lisa gave me a ride home.  We stopped and had coffee at the Coffee Bean near me, sitting outside next to the fire pit.  As we talked about weight (losing, gaining) and carb addiction and all of that, I kept thinking about the fact that less than two years ago just sitting in that chair would have been impossible for me.  That I didn't fit but now I do. 

The thought was, in a word, wonderful. 

And A Good Time Was Had By All

The lunch at Claim Jumper this past Saturday was such a blast!

I'm so glad I got to go and so grateful to StefanieP from the DS OH board for giving me a ride. Thanks too to Jennifer who both gave me an update on her sister (yay, Michelle sounds like she's recovering nicely from her lower body lift) and who split lunch and dessert with me.

It was wonderful seeing old friends, meeting new ones and getting to know folks in person who before this I'd only known from on-line.  I also really enjoyed hearing from Maria what life was like working for UCLA's Bariatric Program and to be invited to attend her new support group (see here for more information).  She's such a star -- those patients are very lucky to have her.  And don't think they won't be told. 

A special shout-out to Leslie who is having her duodenal switch surgery on Friday with Dr. Crooke at USC Hospital!  Go Leslie, go!

As we parted (after much picture taking), there was total agreement that this must happen again and soon.  Houston's and Versailles were both mentioned.  (I'd go for Versailles because their garlic chicken makes me swoon, but Rocke and StefanieP made the hamburgers at Houston's sound amazing). 

Lament for Maria

Weight 186

Those of you who have read my blog since I was pre-op (poor souls!) have probably read quite a bit about Maria Harrison.  She's been an important part of the weight loss surgery program at USC, running the support group and facilitating communication.  One of the things I liked best about dealing with her was how quickly she replied to emailed questions.  Her energy and enthusiasm made her a wonderful patient advocate as I was jumping through insurance and medical testing hoops.  On the day of surgery she went with me and held my hand while my epidural line was inserted and made sure, post-op, that my husband and mother knew how I was doing.   Post-op, when my new plumbing and odd pains frightened me, Maria answered every mail from me within hours of my sending it.

I've gotten emails from her as early as 5AM and as late as 9PM.  In fact, I rarely go onto Health Science campus without running into her -- she's always visiting patients, picking up records that have gone astray and generally working hard.   Maria is not someone who clocks in and out of her job, but someone who really cares a huge amount about what it's like to be super morbidly obese and trying, literally, to get out from under the weight. 

This past summer, USC Hospital decided that it didn't have enough funding for Maria's position.  They didn't relent despite a number of letters and phone calls explaining how vital she had been in helping us through the pre and post-op process.  This past month she worked her last day.   This was not something she wanted -- she felt committed to USC's bariatric patients.

I wish I had words to express how sad  knowing she's left USC, especially under these circumstances makes me.  She will be missed in a profound way by those of us whose lives she's touched and helped change.

Tonight will mark the first support group meeting without her.  Apparently no one even knows if the meeting will even take place.   

For any USC patients who want or need it, I have Maria's private email -- her USC one is no longer active.  Please join me in wishing her well.  I've heard she feels very sad about leaving.  Maybe it's a comfort to her to hear how sad many of us are to see her go.

Brunch Bunch

Yesterday a group of five of us, plus two of our spouses, from the USC DS mailing list went out to brunch at C&Os at Venice Beach.  It was a great day for it -- sunny with a good breeze but not too too much wind. Plus, HWLBO and I even lucked into a parking meter almost right across the road.

I had a great time! It was interesting to hear how everyone was feeling about different issues at however far they were out.  Plus the food was great too.  I had scrambled eggs and lox and a bit of fruit.  But it was great seeing what everyone could eat.  Definitely a lot more than me.  But the amounts were still less than someone who hadn't had surgery, I think.   Oh and the lovely Cassandra decided to treat us and pay for the whole brunch.  How sweet was that?

One of the women there had had DS surgery with a non-USC doctor in Southern California.  The DS had failed and she'd had a revision (and very successful too!) with Dr. Crookes at USC.  What was interesting was that someone else there was in the same situation -- having had a failed (or at least not as successful) DS with the other doctor and is consulting with Dr. Crookes about revising her surgery.  Listening to them make comparisons and tell stories about their first doctor, I felt thankful for whatever smiling hand of fate landed me at USC on the first go.  The sisters were both looking into tummy tucks (Jennifer got approved last week) and I was still reeling at the idea of having another surgery, ever.  Though that said, it's becoming clearer to me that in the long term I'll have to do something about my breasts and maybe my arms.  Even with as much as I still have to lose, the extra skin is getting painful.

Afterwards we went for a walk along the Venice walk near the beach and an all-too-brief stroll down to the water.   Then we said our goodbyes with promises to do this again (hope so) only to meet up (well, 5 of us anyway) at Cold Stone for some after brunch ice cream.  I had their sweet cream mixed with coconut.  As ever, I marveled that I was full after half of a small scoop.  I commented that it was only a few months ago that a pint of Ben & Jerry's barely seemed like enough!

I left feeling inspired, my face a little tan and remembering to be excited about what this coming 12 months will bring. 

Cheers!

Odd

Three and a half months seems a little late for post-op depression.  And I'm not sure what I'm feeling really is depression.  More like, having gone through so much in the past six months and finally seeing an end to the problem of my unemployment, HWLBO's work permit / green card issues, our financial problems, my surgery and some other stuff, I've sort of retreated into a turtle shell this week. 

My impulse is to say I've done nothing.  But thinking about it that isn't really true.  Our apartment is pretty much all clean and tidy (well, except for some lingering mess in the bedroom.  Despite having only 24 hours notice of my dad's visit, I got the place clean and scrubbed.  What I'm most proud of is that I didn't make this sudden visit and need to clean HWLBO's problem.  I was physically able to do all the cleaning (including scrubbing the bathroom floor on my hands and knees!) myself.  That's not something I could have done all in one day a few months ago.  I also managed to follow up on some stuff with the Ford Foundation (they've funded a lot of my grad research) and have a tentative offer to give a presentation at their conference this fall.  They only meet every other year, so this would be very cool.  Not to mention that it's a great conference and that all travel expenses are paid by the foundation.  So with luck I'll be going to Washington DC in September or October.

I also organized a brunch for the newly re-formed USC_DS mailing list on Yahoo!  We're meeting tomorrow at C&O's at Venice Beach. I'm going to bring my camera so maybe there will even be some pictures!  Who knows?  So why do I feel like I haven't done much of anything?  I think because I haven't done my daily walk (though there's been other exercise) most days. I want to change that in the coming week.  Also, I meant to list a bunch of stuff on eBay (we have a closet full now) but just couldn't get motivated.  And I stayed up too late playing Final Fantasy X-2 (it's all about the clothes and accessories don't ya know) to make my Saturday trip to the farmer's market.

So there you have it.  All my guilt.   Except for not having made my daily entries here either. 

Tonight we're doing the social thing -- very unusual for our introverted selves.  We actually had invitations to not one, but two parties for tonight.  The one we're going to is for a friend who's recently finished her PhD and gotten a job in Florida so we're saying goodbye.  I know we won't be able to stay very long as the host has two cats and I'm sooooo allergic to them. 

I'm seeing Dr. Kaufman on Monday and have a few issues I want to remember to talk to him about.  More on that tomorrow.  Hope you're having a great weekend.  I really love that people read and comment on my blog.  :)