A Smaller Target

Mi Familia

Weight 166

When I was getting before pictures together to take to Maria's support group, I had my dad send me one that was taken Thanksgiving 2004 in Portland, the November before Eloise and my surgery when we were both at our highest weights.   Looking at it next to the one taken last June at my grandmother's 100th was pretty amazing.  Wanna see?

I knew I looked different, but at the support group meeting I had to tell them which was me (the shortest one in the black dress, of course).  At this point I weighed about 367 and Eloise was about 410. 

And from this past June 2006,

At this point, I was 190 and Eloise was 210. 

I not only love this picture not only because we look so much healthier and happier, but also because with my 3 inch wedges and me standing a bit forward from the group, I look like I'm the same height as my sister and mother, something that's always been a bit of an impossible goal.

Side note: my mom has lost 50 lbs since the last picture was taken.  Go Mom!  Between the 3 of us (Eloise, mom and me) we've lost more than 470 lbs in the past 2 years.  That's like a small family!

Happy Christmas Eve!

Weight 181

I'm sitting with my Nana and Paul next to the Christmas tree at my parents' house.  They wisely opted to put it in the family room this year rather than in the living room.  No one ever goes in the living room, but we all spend hours a day in the family room (it links to the kitchen and the TV is in here too).  It's been nice to get to spend more time sitting near it.  The tree is real, but is so perfect that it looks like a fake one.  My mom picked it out at a local Christmas tree farm the weekend before Thanksgiving and then had it cut and brought to the house the week after.  My dad decorated it -- his first time ever doing that.  I'm going to try and get a picture taken with it in the next couple days. 

Yesterday my grandfather would have been 101.  It's our first Christmas without him.  Though it was his time to go, it's strange to celebrate the holidays without him.  For all of us, Christmas is linked to him especially because his birthday was always sort of the first Christmas party the night before Christmas Eve.

I'm feeling pretty good after two days of laying around doing next to nothing.  Last night one of my drain holes and a spot on my incision line started draining again.  The drainage grosses me out beyond words, but seems pretty healthy too.  This morning the swelling had gone down and it felt less sore.  My hope is that it will have healed pretty much completely by next week.  We'll see.

My time as family invalid is definitely ending anyway.  Last month, my sister Eloise was in a car accident last month and injured her back.  As the swelling has gone down and she's had MRIs and the like, it's become clear that she has two broken vertebrates and three ruptured discs.  It's also become clear that they aren't going to heal on their own -- she needs spinal surgery.  Since she lives in Lima Ohio where the medical care is okay but they don't have much in the way of specialists, my parents are flying her to Los Angeles so she can have her surgery and rehab at Cedars Sinai Hospital's Spinal Institute.   

Eloise had a rather serious back injury 18 years ago and had surgery at Cedars then, making a perfect recovery.  Since then she's had no problems so we feel very hopeful that her surgeon can repeat his success.  She's flying in on January 3 and has a series of appointments and then surgery on January 8.  It's serious -- right now she has no feeling in her legs; they're totally numb -- but we're glad she can be in such good hands. 

That's about it for now.  :)

Monday, Monday

Weight 184.5 (pharmacy scale)

Thanks for the kind words about my political rant.  I don't expect everyone to agree with me -- I mean, what are the odds of that-- but I don't expect anyone to try and silence me.  It that sort of thing just makes me want to write about politics even more often.  In fact, fair warning, there's a rant about Wal-Mart coming soon. 

But in other news...

I'm getting ready to leave at the crack o' dawn for Portland OR on Thursday.  I'll be there on my own (Paul's staying home finishing up some work and looking for a new job) except, of course, for my family including my brother and his girlfriend.  I'm staying for 12 days both because it'll be my first visit since June and also to thwart the airlines who otherwise would jack the fares.  My mom and I talked quite a bit last night and I expressed my worry about needing to eat healthy and not give into my carb cravings while staying in their house.  She told me the great news that a) she's lost 30 pounds since July and b) that she and my dad have stopped having the carb-y crap in the house.  Woot! 

The bad news she had was that my sister Eloise (who is down to the 180s herself and must look amazing) was in a bad car accident over the weekend.  Her car was hit head-on by a young driver (16 yo) in an SUV who lost control of the car while making a left turn when she hadn't slowed down enough.  Eloise's car was apparently totalled and she was taken strapped to a board to the hospital.  She's okay --got to go home and everything-- but she's very very sore and has back pain.  But the amazing part of this is what the police officer at the scene told her, that if she hadn't had her seatbelt on she probably would have been ejected through the passenger window and killed. 

You see, something I didn't know was pre-op Eloise's seat belt didn't fit and so she didn't wear the lap part.  In a very immediate sense having had her RnY in Feb 2005 and losing over 220 pounds saved her life. I'm so thankful that my parents gave her the money to pay for the surgery.  It's not without risks, of course.  Eloise's IV B-12 treatments are proof of that.  But I can hardly bear to imagine her having been in this accident without a seatbelt. 

Plans for plastic surgery continue apace.  I've got to find time to go in for a thyroid test before I leave as there may not be time after I get back.  A huge packet of information came from my surgeon's office and answered a number of the questions I had about post-op recovery, drains and the like.  According to the package, it will be about 2-3 weeks after surgery before I feel like I can stand fully erect (!!!).  And 6 weeks before I'm supposed to engage in vigorous exercise.  So I guess there'll be lots of short walks and plenty of time for blogging. I just hope that I'm well enough to travel to Portland two weeks later for Christmas.  Reading the instructions it sounds like it will be a near thing.

I have an intake appointment with Dr. Soo on December 5 and then have to be at the hospital at 5:30 AM on December 6.  Surgery starts at 7:30 am.  I can't really believe I'm going to do this. 

But calendar says it's definitely coming.

PS.  A shout out of "Go Baby!" to Melting Mama who's busy over on her own blogging being an amazing mom and also dropping baby weight daily.  You go girl! (And your new wee one is too cute for words.)

Complications and Side Effects

Weight 180.3

I probably should have written this a while ago.  But it was like I needed to know the end of the story before I started telling it.  And now I do.  So where to start?

First, with the reminder that weight loss surgery, whether RnY or duodenal switch or whatever, isn't a minor or trivial thing.  Those of us who've opted for surgery have made major (and to a degree irreversible) changes to our body's plumbing.  Not something to do without knowing that there can be very serious consequences and, at the very least, that we're going to need a life-time of follow-up lab work.

So, as many of you know, my sister Eloise had RnY surgery on Valentine's Day, 2005.  She's lost over 200 pounds and, generally speaking, seemed to be having a great recovery. 

Except that she ended up being one of the people who can't absorb vitamin B-12 post-op. 

Not to worry.  She was given / prescribed fast dissolving supplements.  But her testing 3 months later showed that the B-12 levels were still falling.  So she started on B-12 injections.  Those didn't work either.  By June her B-12 levels were critically low and the side effects of that were causing terrible and scary things to happen: irregular heart beat, extreme fatigue, anemia. 

Not good.  Her doctor told her she could have a heart attack at any time and said she couldn't work.  Eloise is paid hourly and, though primary caregiver to my nephew, must work or risk losing health insurance as Ohio has no domestic partnership laws. 

Just before she came out to Oregon for my grandmother's 100th birthday party, the doctors tried the first of many IV B-12 treatments.  Three months later we know they're working.   Had they not, Eloise would be looking at needing her surgery undone -- a process that, given her state of health, had its own risks.   

Right now it looks like she'll be needing these treatments 2 - 3 times a month for the rest of her life.  Fortunately, though her RnY surgery wasn't covered under her health insurance, this treatment is. 

But what's really important to remember is that complications can happen to anyone.  Though she eventually ended up feeling bad, this B-12 problem started when she was feeling great.  Had she not been being good about her follow-up care, she might have had a heart attack or suffered other permanent damage before the problem was caught . 

So don't forgo follow-up care.  Please.

And me?  So far as I know I have only side effects -- namely a small hernia and a huge amount of excess skin.  But I've got my 18 month follow-up come the end of the month!

Eloise At One Year

Weight: 197

Some of you that have been reading for a while may remember that my younger sister Eloise had RnY surgery last year on Valentine's Day.  She's had a great recovery, with no complications and no dumping and (aside from b-12) no side effects.

On the morning of her surgery, Eloise was 404 pounds.  That sounds like and is a lot, but do keep in mind that she's 5'9" (or is it 5'10" now?) so her BMI was about the same as mine.  As of her one year appointment, she weighs 221 pounds, so she's lost 183!!  Wow! 

Pretty amazing, yes?  She's been completely compliant (except for adding alcohol earlier than I thought she should... but I'm not her doctor) and feels fantastic.  Her labs have all been great except she's not absorbing B-12 from oral sources so will need to go in once a month for a shot. This is not uncommon for RNY patients.  It's dangerous only if left untreated.  She and her doctors are on top of it so she should be fine.

Still even if she needs these shots forever, it's not a bad trade off as, like me, she was headed toward diabetes. 

Eloise has already surpassed her doctor's expectation of weight loss by losing more than 60% of her excess weight.  Her goal is to get somewhere between 180 and 190. 

I'm so proud of her.  Not that I wasn't before of course. 

She's the pretty one and is getting hit on by men and women right and left now... and man her wife getting jealous!  But I don't  have a before and after picture because I couldn't convince her to take them along the way.  I'll try and get my mom to get them for me when she's out visiting next month.  Eloise always says she has no problem with me posting her pictures... but then she doesn't give me any. 

Ah well.  Viva la Eloise!

Eloise and Ezpy

Weight: 241

One of the best things about the holiday I took last month with my family was getting (finally!) to spend some time with Eloise (my sister) post-op. 

Eloise had her surgery on Valentine's Day 2005, a little more than a month before mine.  She had open RnY surgery in Columbus, Ohio.  (For more details on Eloise's surgery, see February's entries).  Both of us are clearly good healers and she was up and about as quickly as I was.  She's lost over 130 lbs since surgery.  Her high weight was a bit higher than mine, but then she's also, as you can see from the picture, a lot taller than me.  (For the sake of honesty I've been told to reveal that I'm wearing boots with 3 inch heels in that picture.)

It's been interesting talking about recovery with Eloise.  On the one hand, unlike me, she doesn't (can't) have sugar.  She doesn't do protein shakes (hates 'em) and seems to live on varieties of Progresso soup.  On the other hand, unlike me, she was never sick over the week we were together and she can drink (like you know, booze) without any seeming ill effects.  On the other hand, I vomit much more easily, but seem to eat a wider variety of stuff.  I did think about having a drink with her and my mom, my first since surgery.  I made it, but then one sniff and I realized I'd be as sick as a dog if I drank it.  So I didn't. 

Before I came, I asked Eloise her sizes so I could bring her some of the stuff that's outgrown me.  She told me she was a 3X and wearing a size 26.  So I brought some of those as well as all my 24s and 2x stuff.  As soon as I saw her, I suspected we were much closer to the same size.  She's definitely a 24 and mostly a 2X up top.  She can even fit into my 1X shirts when I made her try a couple on.  However, what I realized is that she doesn't like anything to basically touch her body.  She's gotten used to wearing clothes that are too big and shapeless.  I tried hard to point out that shirts are worn fitted now (and that boot cut jeans are really flattering).  Her wife and our mom tried the same.  But she just got irritated and didn't seem to see that the clothes she was calling "too small" were really fitting.

Finally, after a lot of pestering, I realized she knew, but she also wasn't ready to wear tighter stuff.  So I backed off.  Which wasn't easy for me, let me tell ya. 

Anyway, here's a picture of the two of us together.  At this point we'd lost a combined total of over 250 pounds.  Which I now realize is less than I currently weigh and close to less than Eloise.  It's like we've lost our adopted butter sister!

PS. Remember how I said she'd laugh when she heard I'd lost an inch of height?  Well it was worse than I thought.  First, Eloise has bloody well gained an inch.  That's right, she's an inch taller because apparently her back as decompressed as she's lost weight.  Second, when I told her of my sad loss her reaction was to giggle and say "What does that put you at now, Ezpy, 5'2"?  She apologized in order to get me to stop weeping. 

No, really, she didn't apologize.  But then again, I didn't try weeping either. 

She's now more than 6 inches taller than me.  Damn.  It's getting harder to be the big sister.  Good thing I'll always be older. 

...funny that isn't making me feel better.  :-b

Happy Monday all! 

Summer's Days

Weight: 262

Thanks for your concern.  I'm feeling better though the problem hasn't entirely gone away.  I'm a bit annoyed because no one ever called me back, which is a bit puzzling as it was hugely stress that I should call whenever there's a problem.  The NP who works with Dr. Kaufman seems to be on leave and the nurse who works with one of the other doctors is covering, but not for me, apparently.  I'll call again tomorrow.

I talked to Eloise today!  She's lost 115 pounds so she's in the 280s. Hooray!  More importantly, I'll be seeing her up in Oregon next month (my family is going on a vacation on the coast) so I'll get a picture of both of us together.  She's now wearing my favorite jeans and says they fit perfectly, which makes me feel really happy.  The 24s I'm in now are getting loose (sob) and so by next month I suspect I'll need to pass them.  Going down in sizes is great except that I'm going to be left with nothing to wear which is less great.  Ah well.  There's always TJ Max.  But hey, if anyone wants to send me some size 20 jeans and slacks, well, don't think I'd be too proud to take 'em.  ;)

It's pretty hot here in Los Angeles, even as far west as Santa Monica (high 90s - high 80s) but I'm sure not feeling the heat the way I used to.  This is very very good of course.  Weird too because my body still registers that it's quite warm, but I'm not dripping with sticky sweat the way I've been the past ten summers.

Other news?  I got my first paycheck!  It was only for 1/2 a month, but it was still really exciting to be earning regular money again.  It sounds like HWLBO will be going back in the next couple weeks.  So yay us!  Knock on wood, but it looks like we're going to make it!

Places I've discovered I fit this week:

• the bathtub!
• the seats at the Arclight in the Dome!
• did I mention outside at Coffee Bean?  Yeah, I did but I actually sat out there with HWLBO and we drank some ice blendeds.  It was totally great.
• in size 20 jeans!  Though I'm too broke to buy any.  Still, soon.  :)

Anyway, I'm hopeful that I can lose another 5 pounds in the next week or so, which means I need to make sure I fit in daily walks again, and hit 100 pounds lost since surgery by the first of the month.  I've asked HWLBO to come up with a scene that will both be a total surprise and be memorable to mark the occasion.  I feel like I'm pushing a bit and maybe biting off more than I can chew (as he would say), but the idea appeals to me so much it gives me shivers.  ::swoon::

This is a bit disjointed, but just what I've been thinking about lately.  More soon.

Two Sundays at Saks

Update on Eloise:  As of this weekend, Eloise has lost 101 pounds since her RNY on 2/14/05.  I'm so happy for her and proud of her!  She's doing so well and has found tons more energy to do all sorts of things, like redecorate her and her wife's bedroom.  My brillant nephew's mommy can almost keep up with him, which is as much as anyone could hope to do.

Spoiled shopping entry:

This opens with the acceptance that I'm extremely fortunate and undeservedly spoiled.

Two weeks ago yesterday, a dear friend who had been reading about my job search trials, took me shopping in Beverly Hills at Saks Fifth Avenue's Salon Z.  In a word it was amazing.  I'm not kidding, it rocked my world. I had no idea there was ANYWHERE that sold designer clothing in sizes 14-24.  And here was a whole department store full of it.  My friend had determined that my black slacks from Talbots were too big for me now and I needed some well-fitting ones to have the confidence to continue interviewing well.  She said she knew just the place -- Saks Fifth Avenue.

I was suspicious.  I'd been to Saks before and knew that they didn't sell my size.  I feared that she was going to try and fit me into size 18s and it was going to be a day filled with failure.  Instead, we parked and took the elevator up to Salon Z -- a place I didn't even know existed.  Here was a whole floor of beautiful (I can't say that often enough) clothes going from 14 - 24.  My friend was known there and greeted warmly.  They were having their end-of-summer sale, which is Saks biggest one (other than after Christmas) of the year.  Clothes were marked down to 50% off (not everything, but about a third of the racks).  I must have tried on 20 different styles of black slacks in a giant changing room.  My only suggestion to Saks is that they need a more powerful AC in the changing areas.  Trying on clothes is hot work. 

I slowly worked my way through all the slacks, narrowing the "acceptable" piles to 5 and then 2 pairs.  Both were 24s, but fit snugger than mine from Talbots had -- maybe because they weren't 24Ws.  Finally we got down to two pairs.  Now it was clear which of them looked better -- a pair of summer weight wool slacks from Dana Buchman (the link shows some like them , but in tan, mine are black). They were lined, flattering and wonderful.  Originally $290, they'd been reduced to $170 (I think).  But the "second-best" were from Saks own line, fit nicely (if a bit more snuggly) and were $56.  Plus they were a 24P which meant they didn't need to be shortened for my   My impulse was to go for the cheaper pair.  My friend's, bless her generous heart, was to buy both.  As she explained it, the Buchman slacks were clearly the ones, but were going to need to be altered by at least 2 inches (they were too long, even if one imagined I'd wear 2.5 inch heels.  The 24P pair would fit me right now should I have an interview early the following week.

When we went to pay, we found that the Buchman slacks had been marked down still further.  Still, they definitely are the most expensive slacks I own.

Taking a shopping break, we walked down Rodeo drive looking for a place to have lunch.  I wish I could remember the name of the place we found.  It was Italian with an indoor-outdoor style that was just wonderful.  I ordered a mixed seafood dish cooked in wine sauce.  It was amazingly good, with the sweetest and most tender squid I've ever had.  I ate as much as I could, gave as much to my friend as she could have (though her own seared ahi was pretty great too) and then stopped before I experienced any ill effects. 

We walked back to Saks, looking in the windows of (mostly) closed shops as we passed.  For the first time really in years, I realized I felt an interest in fashion and was trying to imagine these designs on my own changing body.  My friend also helped me pick out a bra that fit and did the job (the one I bought on the day my 'skinny' jeans fit having become too loose.  My new bra is nude and a size 42DD.  Clearly the girls just can't decide which size they are.

Our last stop was the handbag and shoe department.  My taste in shoes went up considerably as I tried on pair after pair of totally gorgous shoes.  It was only my love of my husband, who's been doing his best to pay off our credit card debt and the memory of Mary Beth's comments about her feet shrinking, that kept me from allowing the nice sales man to put in a credit card application for me.  The shoes were also on sale and there was a pair of Prada sandals for $240 (originially $600) that cried out to come home with me.  But I was strong.  I do wish I could have found a picture of a pair though.  They really are lovely.  Maybe next summer when I no longer need to worry about my feet shrinking.

Soooo, after this perfect day of most excellent shopping, followed by a spa manicure and pedicure (mmm!), what on earth could have followed this act 2 weeks later?  A return trip, of course.  My mom came into town, I told her about Salon Z (she wears an 18 - 20) and we determined to go so she could see the store, plus so I could pick up my now altered black slacks.  I felt very in the know since my mom, who's lived in LA most of her life (except for the last few years they've been up in Portland), had never heard of Salon Z.   

She was, in a word, impressed.  Not just by the clothes (although they are gorgous) but by the sale, which was in its last day and now took another 50% off everything.  She bought a couple ties for my dad, a gift for Paul and my sister and another pair of pants (white) and a pair of jeans (only $25!) for me.   Oh and she found some wonderful stuff for herself too.  And then, just as we were checking out, the sales woman brought out a turquoise micro knit cotton tee in a 1X that had just been returned.  It had been triplely marked down, taking it from $60 down to $15.  My mom bought that for me too!  Her justification?  I need it for work.  :)

When we got home, I pleased her and (I think) bored HWLBO by trying everything on muliple times with different shoes and tops.  The jeans and slacks need to be taken up a couple inches (of course) but otherwise look great.  Through all the trying on that day, we determined I'm either a 22W or a 24 (without the W).  Getting so many lovely things made me determined to go through my closet and send stuff that's still nice (I've got a lot of older grotty stuff) but is too big for me now to Eloise.

So there it is.  Me enjoying shopping.  Who knew?

57 / 87

So I've lost 57.5 pounds since my duodenal switch surgery at the end of March.  Eloise has lost 87 since her RNY surgery in mid-February.  Both of us feel great.

And both of us have massively changed bra sizes.  Eloise has gone from a 56 DD to a 44D.  Her lovely sister (that's me) has gone from a 54D to a 46B (I think, I haven't bought a new one yet).  Thems some changes.  Next stop?  I guess the 30s.  And hopefully for me not in the As.  Though if that's the price...

I did my walking today and managed to lose my water bottle (doh!) somewhere.  Maybe my plan not to use bottled water has a few flaws.  :-/

Eloise At Six Weeks

The phone rang this morning at 7:30 AM, a time I'm not usually up except for needing to take my pain meds.  Unlike most dawn (at our house 7:30 is dawn) phone calls, this was good  news.  My sister Eloise who had RNY surgery at the Barix center in Columbus OH on 14 February   had her six week check-up today and had lost [drum roll] 50 pounds!  She's lost so much they want her to add some more fats into her diet so her weight loss slows down a bit!!   She's gone from 5X down to 4X pants!!

I swear, we're just all going to start calling her "slim."

So Impressive!

Today I heard from both Eloise and an on-line buddy, Fate.  As luck would have it, both of them had their 3 week (check-up today).  And both have done amazingly well!  My sister Eloise is down 32 pounds since surgery.  Fate, who had lap RNY surgery, is down a very impressive 41.  Wow. 

I've been in shock all night thinking about it.  Can this really happen?  It must.  I mean these are real women I know.  Both of them sounded so happy and really much stronger than they did last week too.  My sister's voice sounded so good I thought she was going to be able to come through the phone and (gently) hug me.  That would be so cool.  I wish.  If you're the praying sort, please offer a quickie that I recover as well and fast as she has.  That would be really great.

Other than being dazzled by their successes, I've been busy being worried and excited and afraid and excited some more.  I ordered a bunch of protein drink samples and will write some reviews as I try them (after surgery) -- it's a subject everyone has an opinion on so I might as well give you mine. 

I talked to my mom tonight (it's her birthday).  She'd been a little sick last night, but sounded great today so I'm really glad she's feeling better.  We marveled at my sister's success and she commented that she was sure I'd do just as well.  I'm not competing with my sister to lose weight (how sick would that be?) but I really want to recover as strong and cheerfully as she has. 

My mom's going to fly in on March 23rd, the day before my surgery.  Her flight arrives right at noon, so at least I have most of that day to spend with her before we have to go to the hospital the next day.  She asked if she could stay the night with  me at the hospital or if not how early she could get there.  I didn't know so I'm adding this to the great list of questions Steph sent me (which I'm using to write my own list from).  I'll post my final list next weekend in case anyone has any suggestions for me and in case it might be helpful for someone else.   We talked and decided we're going to try and go shopping (a little) and get pedicures that afternoon.  Very exciting girl stuff.

You may notice that last night I added (with some help from HWLBO who is my technical as well as emotional support) an email link to the sidebar and also put my name up.  Sometime this next week I'm also going to try and add a photo album with my before pictures to help chart my progress.  I say "try" because the idea of putting images of my body up for public view is really horrifying to me.  The only reason I'm thinking of doing it is because those pictures other people have put up have been so inspiring and I'd like to be able to inspire people in my turn if I can. So we'll have to see if my courage holds.

And that's it.  I hope everyone had a great week. 

Update on Eloise

My sister reported on her first post-operation doctor visit today. The scale said that she'd lost 21 pounds in the two weeks. How amazing! They expect her to lose between 90 and 110 pounds within her first 3 months of losing, That's amazing too and something she doesn't quite have her head around. I'm so excited and happy for her! My mom will leave Ohio on Monday because they both think Eloise is ready to manage on her own.

She'll be coming here on 23rd of March, the day before my surgery. I guess I better start cleaning!

Eloise's doctors say she's getting in plenty of protien, but that she needs to focus more on her liquids. When she told them her lower liquid intake was because it takes her so long to get the protien in (my mom says all day really) they told her that the liquids were even more important than the protein. So she'll be focusing on that for the next couple of weeks. She's also walking about a mile every day and says she feels pretty good. Losing 20 pounds is a lot so I'm glad she's feeling good too. A friend asked today if she'd thought about the fact she'll need all new clothes in a couple of months. I don't think she has thought about it. But it's been a long time since she's been able to shop in a store. I think it'll make her happy.

As to me? There's not much new since I got my date confirmed on Wednesday. Except that I've got to be at USC hospital at 7am on March 21 for my pre-op meetings and testing. Oh and that my common channel will be no less than 100c and my stomach will be approximately 3 ozs. I'm supposed to bring a list of questions about surgery to my meeting so if you can think of anything I should ask, please let me know. :)