She Who Lives By the Scale

Weight 171 (yes, that's right -- somehow I'm up 8 pounds in two weeks)

...shall die by it?

Okay that's a little dramatic. 

But for the first time since I started weighing myself daily almost 18 months ago (didn't have a scale that could weigh high enough to weigh me until I was 4 months post-op) I feel the scale is not my friend.  I'm up 8 pounds in 2 weeks.  Worse still, I don't know how it happened or understand why.

I suppose this is that case when any friendship goes south, I feel confused, hurt and betrayed.  This new scale, which I was fool enough to welcome into my home,  lured me into a sense of security with a couple rounds of fast losses, taking me down to 162 at one point. 

And now, this morning, it's announced my return to the 170s, numbers I'd decided I'd left behind.  O how could my friend betray me so?

This isn't the first significant bounce up in weight I've had since surgery.  In May - June I went from the 170s up to the 190s.  But the thing is, that time I knew what the problem was -- a fatal combination of oral steriods for eczema and nervous / stress induced carb eating.  This time that's not the case.  I have no idea where this gain came from.  I don't deserve it -- if anything my eating has been better in the past week than it had in weeks before it.

I'm not retaining water.  This scale measures that.  I'm not putting on muscle.  I haven't been able to work out since plastic surgery.  There's no happy explaination for this gain.  It's not showing in my clothes -- if anything they're getting looser.  But honestly I swear don't deserve any gain -- if anything my eating has been better in the past week than it had in weeks before it.

Though, since I'm being honest, I have have to admit I didn't feel like I deserved the 10 pound loss I had post-plastics.  The swelling went down and suddenly 20 pounds were gone -- and only 6 of them were from tissue removed during surgery.   I looked upon that loss as a gift from my new scale friend.

O!  Fool I am to have been so easily seduced.

(I want to get back to the gym.  Clearly lack of exercise is causing me to lose my mind.)

Comments

[*S*]

What crappy news, Ezpy! My first guess is that stuff is moving around and that you *are* retaining some kind of fluid, but you are the expert on you. Exercise will help, but not at the risk of doing some damage to yourself, so do be careful.

I felt so gratified reading that you couldn't find a scale to measure your weight until month 4. I won't be able to use our home scale until then either. For a while, I thought about sneaking out to the airport once a week and surreptitiously jumping on the scale when no one was looking (outside luggage area) and getting a reading. Fortunately, new, albeit, lying, scales have arrived at our health club and they do the numbers for me. Both DH and I have noticed that they register about 3 lbs more than the ones at our doctor's office, however.

*Big Hug*

*S*

[Deluzy]

That sucks -- my only thought, though, is that your body is still adjusting to the aftermath of surgery and finding its current weight, so to speak. I say that because 1) you say your clothes are looser, despite the gain; 2) I've noticed similar kinds of patterns in myself, even without surgery. My weight is staying the same or going up a few pounds -- but I'm getting bonier (see yesterday's post). Go figure that one -- I can't, but both things are true.

Step away from the scale for a few days and banish thoughts about what you do or don't "deserve" in the way of loss or gain --> that way lies the madness of moral discourse around issues of weight, and we've lived that way all our lives! :)

Hugs.

[Melting Mama]

Well, then welcome to the 170's again. I'm there with you. It's a sticky place to be, I don't like it much, and I look forward to getting back to the 160's with you, okay? :)

(I'm not alone! :/ )

-Beth

[Lesley]

Open a door, go to the scale, bend over, pick it up, walk to the door - throw it as far as you can.

I hate the wretched things - by the way make sure no-one is in the way as you pitch it.

[SignGurl]

I say, give it a week and then check your weight. (I say that but can I stay off the scale every day? NOOOOO!)